Distinction and Prayer

It's been a while since I last wrote on here, but in that time much has happened for me musically! I received the results of my diploma and got a distinction, passing with flying colors! I have to make a decision whether or not to take the LRSM this year by January. If I do take it, I have already decided on my repertoire:

Bach: Solo Sonata in G minor, 3rd and 4th movements

Mozart: Sonata in Eb Major, K481, 1st and 2nd movements

Bruch: Concerto No. 1 in G minor, 1st movement

Suk: Op. 17, 3rd and 4th movements

This has to fill about 40 minutes, so I am looking for another short piece to perform as well.

Besides thinking about the LRSM, I am working hard on my audition DVD to send out to various schools. At the moment, I am preparing:

Bach: Solo Sonata in G minor (complete)

Paganini: Caprices #16 and #20

Mozart: Sonata in Eb Major, K481 (complete)

Bruch: Concerto No. 1 in G minor (complete)

Bloch: Nigun

Bach is coming along very well. Paganini, of course, is rough around the edges. It has improved over the past few weeks, but it is hard to polish! Mozart is easy, it is just a bit of work to put together with the piano. The Bruch is going well, with the exception of the third movement which I have never performed in public! It is definitely coming along better than I thought, but will take more work than the first two movements which I have performed many times. I did decide to go with the Bruch in the end (after much agonizing over other concertos), because I'm starting to really feel the pressure of getting my Master's.

I've been at Turi quite a long time for it's standards, and I'm starting to feel restless. I would like to do my Master's and then see what God is calling me to do, whether it be to come back to Kenya, go back to the States, or to go elsewhere. I did consider that maybe God is calling me not to do my Master's. It's a hard thing, knowing what to do and what God wants me to do! I had read recently about prayer in my devotional, "There is no doubt that it is by praying that we learn to pray, and that the more we pray, the better our prayers will be. People who pray in spurts are never likely to attain to the kind of prayer described in the Scriptures as 'powerful and effective.'"

James 5:16 says about prayer, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

Part of my problem with indecision and not knowing where my path in life may lead is that I have not been praying as I should. Jesus used to pray in the early morning. Many of the saints and great Christians of our time do this as well. Prayer should be a part of your life and daily routine as much as dressing in the morning. My New Year's resolution is going to be to pray before the start of each day. It sounds like a small challenge, but when you wake up at 5:30am every morning anyway, it will be a struggle to get up even earlier!

Psalm 25

¹ In you, LORD my God,

I put my trust.

² I trust in you;

do not let me be put to shame,

nor let my enemies triumph over me.

³ No one who hopes in you

will ever be put to shame,

but shame will come on those

who are treacherous without cause.

⁴ Show me your ways, LORD,

teach me your paths.

⁵ Guide me in your truth and teach me,

for you are God my Savior,

and my hope is in you all day long.

⁶ Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love,

for they are from of old.

⁷ Do not remember the sins of my youth

and my rebellious ways;

according to your love remember me,

for you, LORD, are good.

⁸ Good and upright is the LORD;

therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

⁹ He guides the humble in what is right

and teaches them his way.

¹⁰ All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful

toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.

¹¹ For the sake of your name, LORD,

forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

¹² Who, then, are those who fear the LORD?

He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.

¹³ They will spend their days in prosperity,

and their descendants will inherit the land.

¹⁴ The LORD confides in those who fear him;

he makes his covenant known to them.

¹⁵ My eyes are ever on the LORD,

for only he will release my feet from the snare.

¹⁶ Turn to me and be gracious to me,

for I am lonely and afflicted.

¹⁷ Relieve the troubles of my heart

and free me from my anguish.

¹⁸ Look on my affliction and my distress

and take away all my sins.

¹⁹ See how numerous are my enemies

and how fiercely they hate me!

²⁰ Guard my life and rescue me;

do not let me be put to shame,

for I take refuge in you.

²¹ May integrity and uprightness protect me,

because my hope, LORD, is in you.

²² Deliver Israel, O God,

from all their troubles!

Unconditional Love

Swiss Alps - photo taken by Karis

My little sister wrote me an email last week which really impacted me when she told me about her marriage. She said, "We are learning more about the character of Christ because we are forced to be selfless, forgive freely, and show unconditional love in order to make our marriage work."

Being selfless is something which is not really in human nature. Young children have difficulty sharing toys, and when it comes to sacrificing time, money or effort, adults are rarely willing to do so. Can you sacrifice some time to hang out with a friend you normally would not hang out with? Would you give someone $20 that they ask for without asking what it is for? Would you give an extra hour at work unpaid just to help out your co-workers? Would you "go the extra mile?"

Forgiving freely is something that is harder to do. You can say that you forgive someone, but do you feel it in your heart? I had a friend when I was 10 years old who I thought was my best friend in the world. We were inseperable for a year, and then she suddenly shunned me and never spoke to me again. I was terribly hurt and it took me a long time to get over, but I realized several years later that I had to forgive her for what she did, even if I never saw her again. It's amazing what a weight off my shoulders it was when I really, truly forgave her!

Unconditional love is the hardest of them all. Can you love someone regardless of who they are or what they have done? Christ Himself was able to do this easily. He came to love the world, not just the ones who would follow Him. He loves everyone regardless of who they are or what they have done, regardless of which religion or denomination a person belongs to ... He loves each and every person. These are incredibly high standards to live up to, standards which are inhuman. Even so, we can try our hardest to emulate Christ and to love as He loves.

Neglecting Practice

This past week practice has been hard to come by. I've realized that I need to grab every spare moment that I have, and what time I have is definitely not enough! I had 30 minutes today and played through some etudes, my Bach and the first movement of the Faure Sonata in A major. My teacher has told me that I should start working on the Shostakovich Violin Concerto in A minor as one of my audition pieces, but after taking a look at the second movement a few days ago, I'm scared! The first movement is pretty easy. The second will kill me! Too many double stops in multiple flat keys and in a presto tempo. Not to mention that I now have to buy my own copy of the music which costs over $60!

I've also been listening to the Bartok Violin Concerto No. 1. It's a lovely, lovely piece and I hope I can convince my teacher to let me take a crack at that as well! Not to mention the Lark Ascending ...

I have too many things to do and too little time to do them in! It's been hard to focus on one thing. I have told myself that when I have an hour or less to practice a day I will focus on scales and etudes. Since they are the foundation of all good violin playing hopefully this will keep me going!

The ABRSM diploma is a reality. I have to fill out the forms this week. The diploma consists of an exam in performance, an aural test, sight reading, and program notes. I'm not worried about my program notes, sight reading or the recital. I'm mostly worried about the questions I may be asked in the aural test! Not only do I have to find the time I need to practice, I have to research and know every little thing about my violin and about the pieces that I am going to perform. Hopefully it will be easier than I think!

My recital will run about 33 minutes and will include:

Bach - Partita No. 2 in D minor, Saraband and Giga
Mozart - Sonata in C major, 1st movement
Dvorak - Four Romantic Pieces
Bloch - Improvisation

It doesn't help that Kenya seems to have no libraries that contain good music resources, so it looks like my research for program notes will have to come from random resources and the internet. Just stay away from Wikipedia!

On a lighter note, I read in my devotional the other day about the pianist, Arthur Rubinstein. He once said, "If I neglect practicing one day, I notice; two days, my friends notice; three days, the public notices." It's the old principle "practice makes perfect." We must continue praying, believing and doing God's will. In any of the arts, if an artist ceases to practice, we know the result. If we would only use the same level of common sense in our faith that we use in our everyday life, we would be moving on towards perfection!

Contentment

Over the past few days I have been run almost into the ground with work. Many things are starting to come up and for a while I wasn't sure if I was going to handle everything that had been, literally, thrown at me. Being the head of a music department and trying to practice my violin consistently for a significant amount of time every day is starting to wear at me. I pleaded for changes in my timetable and tried to find other solutions, and when I was at the point of near despair, I read this passage in my "Streams in the Desert" devotional for January 10:

Beloved, whenever you are in doubt as to which way to turn, submit your judgment absolutely to the Spirit of God, asking Him to shut every door but the right one.

It's surprising what you can hear or read just when you need it, and I definitely needed that devotional on that day! Since then, I have been at peace. Yes, my schedule is still as crazy as ever. Yes, I cannot practice as much as I wanted to ... but I am happy. I am resting in the fact that God closed the doors that I did not need open and I am content to follow the path that He wants me to follow.

Reckon it nothing but joy ... whenever you find yourself hedged in by the various trials, be assured that the testing of your faith leads to power of endurance. James 1:2-3